I AM SLEEPY.
and have been for the whole day.

SPH was considerably boring due to the many many talks. The games didnt turn out exactly fun cos it's only like answering questions and getting posters. Yepp, will be helping Tsun and Hao Yi with theirs. Terence and Haoyu went with the other group to take pics and take notes. And here are the BEST photos of Terence Yong Guo Huan. They're like super useful, yeah right.







Actually, there's still alot more of other people. But I shan't be putting them up because Terence is dumb ahhahaha. Okay, I hate the day. Seriously. I've never eaten so little in a day before dammit. At this rate, I'll drop to like 38kg in less than 2 days, what with my coughing and flu now. Darn. Okay that's all byebye.

4C made it again! (:
And so did 4H and 4I. 4C.H.I. for a CHInese presentation -.- Still, I don't understand my role. I know it's real irritating, but I can't help it if I'm supposed to act as a stupid girl who sajiaos like dunno what. I only got the script right before I had to present it. So to those out there who did what you did, I appreciate you knowing my presence, but I don't appreciate what you did. If you don't respect others, then don't expect me to respect you. I won't. You guys, and you in particular, should look into the mirror before you come crashing at me.

Good job Trish. You were not bad. Yushang's part was really funny. Haha, and hearing you repeat the same sentence over and over again. Cute little reporter, girl.

Sometimes I feel like tearing down the whole building. But then, I'd stop and think and realise that I'm not that angry actually. My temperament's improved, but I guess nobody realises it, not that I need anybody to. Thank you Jing Qi, for yesterday's chat! (: Oh, I have so many people to thank for making things worse than they already are. Seriously, I don't understand why things are like that. What happened today was far yet more examples of this. When I had trusted him/her, he/she had turned around to the other person and done things behind my back.

I just told a friend (=D) that I actually quite enjoy this alone thing, for this moment. Yet at times, I still do reminisce. It's called feelings. I do feel hurt, I do feel sad, I do feel alone like all other humans. Faking a smile is so normal for me now. When you've gotten used to hiding your feelings, it's as though you're acting, only you have to make sure that the people don't know that you are. Jing Qi, don't hide your feelings. Just show them all out. Don't be like me, it only makes you feel worse.

I can't wait for holidays. I can't wait for Vienna. I can't wait to get out of this place. And to think 3 months plus ago, I couldn't bear to leave this place at all. I can't wait to escape. I can't wait for the 2nd year end trip to visit daddy. I can't wait to escape again. I love 4C, I admit. But I still do feel weak at times, and it's when I really want to escape.


不想懂得
当世界 不知不觉的变了
有时候 我怀念以前的我
作的梦虽然远远的
想象是一种快乐
拥有了 同时也失去什么
而眷恋 原来会带来软弱
你让我在雾里成熟
心开始曲折
我不想舍得 不想懂得
是谁惹谁 言不由衷
说谎伤害 都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什么
我不想舍得 不想懂得
谁说割爱 才更深刻
彼此依赖 是爱不是负荷
能握着手就是感动的
我愿意 一秒钟放弃全宇宙
挤在只有我们紧靠的小星球
我不想舍得 不想懂得
是谁惹谁 言不由衷
说谎伤害 都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什么
我多不舍得 多不懂得
谁说割爱 才更深刻
彼此依赖 是爱不是负荷
能握着手就是感动的

I just wanna say thank you, to you guys (you know who you are).
No matter how many times i say it, it doesn't seem to be enough for all the encouragement and support all of you have given me. Thanks for trusting me and for looking out for me and for being one of the firsts to comfort me and lend me shoulders to cry on when I needed them. Thanks so much! (:

And to you, I'm not angry with you.
Neither am I angry with you or you or even you.

I regret telling her and her. And for taking her as a close friend. I'm sorry that this had to end like this, but because you had doubts, so I don't see the point in being friends if you're always suspicious of me. I've done nothing of the sort so I'm not even feeling guilty or bad. Go ahead and continue what you're doing. It's a pity, but it's not worth it.

Quotes Rowen: night sky will always calm you down.
I agree, thanks. I know you've been nice but I'm sorry over certain things that happened so long ago. I never had a proper chance to apologise to you. Sorry. And the night sky really makes me feel calmer.


I know _______ never felt this. I preferred the night. And the other party did, only in another context. I love the night for its calmness and it's darkness. It's mystery and it's excitement. I love the stars even more. I love gazing at the stars for it washes a sense of calmity over me and I'd feel all peaceful once again. But we never got to fulfil our promises. That's my regret.



小故事
前路没灯只有烟　学会醉中找视线
回望剩低苦涩　也可将人生的好纪念
存在过总有意义　若结果真分别了　还是有明天

当伤到尽时　不懂淌泪
呼吸也乱　有口难言面对
当双眼渐红　哭不算罪
男或女　谁没有苦水

纵使结果早已知　就算牺牲都愿意
前路有多苦　未怕摔倒　全因你紧靠住
忘掉昨天那怀疑　在困境坚守路线
无憾了　这辈子未算长未觉短
啊　相拥对视
你　可否记住
我　生于世上
等　这小故事

Let me tell you this.

I don't care how you've tampered with my stuff, even when YOU of all people should know that I HATE people touching my personal stuff as most other people do. You should learn how to respect people and not do things behind my back. Just face up to it. I'm not going to retaliate, I'm not going to ask you back for anything and I'm not going to yell at you whatsoever. But if this goes on, I'll definitely do something about it. Once, I can forgive. Twice, I'll still be able to forgive. Thrice, I may be able to force myself to forgive. Fourth time, maybe I'll still manage a forgive and not forget. But if it happens too many times, I won't let you ride over me and step all over me like how a horse tramples on people to kill them.

You guys should really just get out of my life.