2 Dominics. Tampines. Whole day.

Lydia is exhausted, but she is indeed happy.

BLESSED CHRISTMAS! :D

Caroling with YF-ers was great even though I had the voice of a man. Thanks Dom Soh for the constant reminder that my voice was horrible rarh. And now, I haven't got a voice. Great.

Anyway, this is my first year celebrating Christmas with a church. It felt very different indeed. The church choir and their cantata was not bad (Aaron Chia GOOD JOB :D), the message was short but the idea was clear and strong that God is the rose of sharon, the lily of the valley which brings beauty and joy into the lives of God's people (Song of Solomon 2:1-2).

It's a pity I had such a bad voice, or I'm sure caroling would have been better for me, although it was already fantabulous! Spreading the news about Christ's birth through the carols was indeed meaningful! Loads of fun with the rest of the YF-ers, yet learning about Christ at the same time. The Son of God was born as Son of Man, so that us sons of man can become sons of God. This great sacrifice, are we even worthy of it? Of course we aren't. We're nothing but sinners. Yet because God loves us all so much that he would give us his only begotten Son to die for us so that we can be made pure through the washing of our sins by Christ's blood on the cross.

Christmas is the season for giving, but it's also the season of remembrance. It's for us to remember the birth of Christ our King and His purpose on earth. Glory to the new born king, peace on earth and goodwill to men, the angels sang. It's the day of the birth of our Prince of Peace, our Wonderful Counsellor.

Blessed Christmas to all once again, and remember, God's always with us! :D

YF CAMP WAS GOOD :D

Made so many new friends and had loads of fun with the FOLLOWERS - Tim Foong! Joanne! Valerie! Melissa! Aaron! Aaron! Kenneth! Keene! We're really quite a quiet group but we're considered bonded and we're all cool and fun people yo! :D

Learnt so many things from the camp, and I thought the camp theme verse was really good. Simple, but it impacted me. "But be ye doers of the word, not hearers only, deceiving your own selves" (James 1:22). It inspired me to really live out God's word to be a good testimony to Him. Brother Mark and Pastor Isaac's messages were fantastic too. I'm really glad I went for the camp, since I managed to pick up so many new things and was able to grow spiritually in Christ.

Our group verse was from Hebrews 6:11-12 "And we desire that every one of you do shew the same diligence to the full assurance of hope unto the end: That ye be not slothful but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises". To be followers, we must be obeyers as well. Because to love God, we must first obey. If we do not obey His word, we are as good as His enemies. "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth forever." (1 John 2:15-17) Also, since the Father has given unto us so many spiritual gifts, and hath given unto us His Son, we should be givers as well, and give others what we have to offer - love, kindness and help.

Shan't be typing too long. It was a fruitful camp :D Thanks YF-ers! Thank God for the camp comm, for bringing me to the camp and for all the new friendships. Thank God for seeing us through the entire camp! God is good, always!

nobody takes me seriously just cause sometimes i behave like i'm 7 or 8.

can you imagine that feeling when everybody goes 'small girl leh, how can like that?', 'i dont believe you lah, you're a small girl', 'aiya you small girl you won't understand', 'you small girl sure can't get things done properly'. if you don't give me a chance, how would you know that i'm not a small girl in my thinking?

just cause my behaviour may be like one at times, doesn't mean i am one. just cause i'm a 'small girl' it doesn't mean that certain bad things won't happen to me. now i know why nobody believes me.

you lied to me again

I placed the stake on the table, again. I took the risk, again. I laid down all my cards for a show hand, again. But as you flip your cards over slowly, one by one, I saw the coldness in your eyes. Again.

I searched my memories for when I could remember you. I searched my records of when I still knew you. I searched myself of traces of you in my heart. Knock, and I return to now. You were gone. Memories blurred, records seemed unreal, traces couldn't be found. You were gone. Without a trace left behind.

The place in my heart where I once filled with trust and adoration for you, it's emptied out. You lied, again and again. I forgave, again and again. I'm weary. Let me rest. In this short-lived period of time I've known you and lost you. I've loved you and felt disappointment. I've trusted you and doubted you. The memories are blurred.

It wasn't all a dream, or was it?

love you guys loads

I looked down to the streets as You lifted me up high. This calmness and liberty I feel in me, is it You?

Maths was unexpectedly easy.

BOWLING! It's the last training of the year. Amazing, how time flies by, isn't it? Just one year ago, I was there at the bowling alley, new, didn't know anything, blur like hell (okay i still am), totally lost at what the coach was talking about. But today I stand there as a different person. I think I learnt a lot from coach and the seniors throughout the year! Can't believe the year is gone so quickly. And next yeat, at this time, I would probably have just ended my A levels. Wow.

Went to an interesting place with dear valentia today! Boy were we amused by the things that were in that little room of wonders. Val didn't regret it in the end. Could tell she really liked the music a lot - "thrash Haydn" (quotes val). Good job, jood gob Brainer! :D AMAZING really is amazing. Was totally mesmerized by the music and with each and every note played out from the different instruments weaving into the beautiful piece!

So many people are gone on holidays and I didn't even get the chance to say bye. So, bye to whoever who's gone and I didn't say bye too. Bon voyage. Bring a flag back! HAHA.

Dear friend, no matter how tough you try to appear to be, in you, you know that you're breaking down. I don't want you to bottle up everything inside you. If taking me as a punch bag may make you feel better, please go ahead. Don't suffer alone. How many times do I have to repeat myself, that I am always here for you? Did you know the shock you gave me, and how much it hurt me when you said 'nope, i'm fine, don't worry about me'. Hurt me, not because you didn't tell me what happened, but it hurt me because you were putting up that shield all around you, all over again. I know you've grown, grown stronger. But humans are humans. You have times when you would break down from all the unhappiness and pressure you're facing. And isn't it at these points of times when friends like us come into the picture, to hold you up, hold you close, and hold you tight, to make sure you don't fall too hard? Let us be there for you, don't shun us away anymore. Let us be your air cushion, your life jacket when you're falling. Your world does not consist of you alone, you see, there's us too. And it's because we love you so much that we worry and care for you. I do love you. Don't put yourself down anymore, okay? 
love, lydia.

Took too long to type yesterday's post and it ended up as today's post.

I am super retarded. I keep doing things to embarrass myself. I should really stop being like an 8 year old and really behave like a 17 year old. Yet when I'm serious, you wouldn't want to disturb me. Ahh I don't understand myself. I'm weird, okay.

11.45pm as i start typing this. But it feels like it's only 9pm to me haha. No idea why!

And now it's 11.54pm because I was too caught up in talking to jinky. THANK YOU JINKY I LOVE YOU LOADS <3 yayyyyyy. fooooooooooooooood and flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag! :D

I'm actually pretty upset with some stuffs. But oh well, things do happen right. I should have known that this situation would come up in the end. I just chose to ignore it and now I don't know what to do. Dumb Lydia. Yet I'm also thankful this happened because then would I grow from it. Sigh, it gets quite irritating when EVERYONE treats you like you're 8 years old and half the people don't take what you say seriously, or don't even LISTEN to what you have to say. That's me. Thank you very much. I mean, I don't mind it much, like Val and the rest they're perfectly fine, no complaints about them HAHA. But some people... Don't open your arms invitingly and offer to listen when in actual fact you're tuning off 90% of the time I'm trying to open up to you. So loathsome. Ahh, FORGET IT.
BYE.

p.s. i know, we should all embrace each other (quotes keith), but sometimes it's just too much to take

haha jacob black from new moon is damn hot.
yes, it's the first time in 17 years of lydia's life that she's saying a guy's hot.

p.s. i love you all k! :D

I hate what you do. Hate the way you behave.

I am not someone who is at your beck and call. I am not your dog. Actually you treat me worse than that. At least I think you wouldn't just abandon your dog anytime you want, and only take it back when you want it. You've dashed all hope I've had in you. Even when I face you now, I can no longer bring myself to smile at you. But yet again, you refuse to acknowledge my presence, isn't it.

So actually, why am I even feeling sad over you?  Are you worth it?
I guess not.

Ahh, I keep having this sinking feeling in my chest today. Can't seem to get rid of it and it's making me so upset, quiet and unhappy. And it's very uncomfortable, it's as if I'd burst into tears anytime or I'm gonna have a heart attack anytime. Horrible feeling. In any case...


HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIA HIN!

Celebrated her birthday for her today after bowling trials. She cried halfway while we were singing the birthday song! Aww, it was a surprise for her and yay it was successful. Love you girl! You're finally 17! :D Sigh, didn't get to take picture with her ):

LYDIA LOVES YOU!

It's coming the end of Nov already! I've only 4 more weeks left to complete my pile of homework. So pressurizing. Actually, I've less than 4 weeks. YF camp and other stuffs. NOOOOOO.

Val's back from Genting (very)Highlands! YAY. So happy, we're finally gonna be able to meet up and do stuffs together yay!! I really can't imagine her driving :D so glad for her that her papers and worries are finally over and now she can relax and do the stuff that she wants to do for such a long time.

And yes, tomorrow's 31st Nov (:

Love you girls!

I am bored.

I was super amused by Elijah and Brainer haha. They're really very interesting people, with interesting names too! :D

Can't wait for Val to be back!!

I hate myself. More than anyone else in the world.

God's joy is our strength

No, nobody should be treated this way. Not the way you treated him.

I can safely say that his IQ is 3 times more than both of yours combined. His EQ is 5 times more than both of yours combined. I don't understand how can anyone say such insensitive words. I think I just contradicted myself, but whatever. I know I appeared nonchalent when I was told what you said. But did you know my heart was pierced with a million daggers from your words? Yes, it did not involve me, nothing to do with me in fact, yet did you ever consider how much hurt your words are going to bring to people? How many people would your words hurt? Emotional hurt, is so much more painful than physical hurt. Assuming you never knew, how would you feel if I said the same things back to you? Undoubtedly you're unrelated to me. You are nobody to me, bluntly put. But what you did hurt me because you hurt someone so close to me. It pains me so much to see him struggling daily, see him going down by the day, seeing him falling sick so often, seeing him slog his guts out to prove to you. I could have been harsher with my words, but no, I wouldn't waste my anger on people like you. If the both of you think you're so great, why aren't you the CEO of a company, earning millions of dollars a year? If the both of you think you're so mighty, why aren't you university graduates? If the both of you think you're so wonderful, why are your own lives so out of balance? Tell me why. Because there is no reason, NONE at all, that allows you to put down someone else in such harsh ways, for you to torture someone the way you did. The both of you should totally take yourselves as the guinea pigs. Don't drag him into something then turn around and blame him after that. He's not your slave, not your servant, not your dog. I cannot tolerate your actions and behaviour. I cannot tolerate your words. What irks me most, is you, someone of nothingness actually striking him with those words. Take a look at yourself before throwing words out. Because words, once gone out, they can't be taken back by using a net or whatsoever. You should learn how to relate to people, learn to sympathise people, learn to read their emotions. Not everything you say makes logical sense, so stop cursing others or putting them down. You don't have a right to do so. It is not in your capacity to do so. Don't worry, I don't hate you, I just despise you.

Yes, finally got it off my chest. The speaker said something today so impactful it keeps pounding in my head. As I prepare for tomorrow's chem re-paper (yes my chem sucks to the max), I'll keep what he said in mind.

God's joy is our strength.

Tired.
Shoulder aching like hell.
Swollen eye hurting crazily.
Ouch.

Lydia has a swollen left eye and its hurting much.

Last night I was sending a message to a few friends, and I thought I'd like to share it here with everyone! Well, recently I've been faced with a lot of pressure, with my work piling up and the rate of removal is slower than the increment rate. Sometimes I get so tired from fighting to be strong. I cry, I lament and I almost gave up at times. But it occurred to me one day that God is an ever faithful and dependable God. With Him, all things are made possible (matt19:26). And there was a particular verse that had quite an impact on me, which I'd really like to share with everyone and hope that you too, can find comfort and strength from it.

Your mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens. Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. (psalm 36:5)

The power of God transcends the clouds, and also implies that even during "cloudy" periods of our lives, He remains faithful and dependable. God is always there to help us and protect us. He won't let us fall without reason. We should all trust Him with unwavering hearts and serve Him faithfully and lovingly. I believe that God would lift my problems or guide me through difficult times with His hand as long as I continue trusting in Him and loving Him. Same goes for everyone out there. God will always be there to lend a helping hand when needed! :D

Ouch, my eye hurts.

To Everything There Is A Season

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?
10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.
11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

The same as the choir song, to everything there is a season. Indeed, there is. When the time is come, let it come. Let us welcome it with open hands.

Let us hope in God, and not forget His name. Let's follow in the ways of Him, and ever shall be same.

I learnt something in church today.
God is faithful and we should, in all times trust in Him and depend on Him.
Even in times of trouble or despair He would always be there to hold us up and not let us fall. That's why I love God, for He is so dependable and faithful. For He is my Father.

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. (1 John 2:15-16)

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY ZHIXIONG KOR :D
I LOVE YOU LOADS!

Hm, there's someone's birthday everyday since Nov started. I'm getting tired from all the wishing of happy birthdays! HAHA. But all the best wishes to the November babies! God bless!


You, whom I had 2months and maybe plus 2 more months of friendship, totally disappointed me. Aren't friends supposed to stick by each other? How come promises are worth so little these days? How come friends aren't truthful to each other anymore? Define friends for me, please someone. If you called yourself my friend, then why am I such a disgrace to you; my name cannot be mentioned, I cannot be seen talking to you or walking beside you? If you said you knew you weren't being fair to me, then why didn't you do anything about it? Why do you keep lying? The hope I had for the past 11 months, I don't harbour anymore. I'll let God lead me in the way He has already paved out for me. If there's no you, then I'll accept it. I've tolerated, I've been patient. So patient, I don't remember myself ever being this way. Towards you, I once had hope. I don't hate you. On the contrary, I still love you, friend.



I'm ranting. It's not an emo post. 

Dearest Val

STAY STRONG SENIORS :D

Dear Val, 
Remember, it's like climbing Mount Everest. Take a breath before taking another step. Rest a little while before you tackle another steep slope. Remember, BREATHE. Stay calm and I'm sure you can do your best and excel. Stay calm and you can tackle any situation or difficulties with a clear head. Stay calm and your knowledge will not be messed/jumbled up.
Remember that whatever the results are, it's okay. JUST DO YOUR BEST. Give it your best shot. Don't push yourself overboard at the expense of your health okay. Believe in yourself, and life will bring you wonderous miracles. Have hope in life!
I believe that everything happens for a reason. Failures are just times for us to learn. I believe you'll do well! Don't let your emotions affect your last 2 papers! Stay strong val, tap on the strength and support from your family and friends. We're always here for you!

Love,
Lydia

lydia is...
reunited once again with her long lost friends.
worried for a super super close friend of hers.
amazed by the wonderments of life.
happy that wesley's back.
going to sleep.

little ynja, so innocent and sweet.

Peedoubleyou's OhPee is tomorrow. I'm pretty afraid of Q&A! But I'm just going to go there and put in my very best. Have to, can't afford to screw PW up.

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.  (Psalm 28:7)

And yes, I will trust in Him, and cast my burden unto Him, that He may guide me in the path to take. I shall place tomorrow's OP unto the hands of the Lord, and whatever comes, I'll gladly accept it!

Days do zoom past too quickly. OP's in what, 3 days. Great.

I was just writing something for a dear friend, when I remembered a certain incident. I don't know why you have to hide even from me what you really felt during that time. Why can't you just show it, your concern for her? Why tell me everything, then turn around and tell me a different story? When I face her, and hear her complaints about you, how I want to tell her whatever you said, but I can't, for I promised. It's a struggle. To understand you, and try to keep her unbiased.

As we near the end of the year, separations are inevitable. Miss, as we will, we should never forget those that made an impact in our lives. Keep them in our hearts. And I hope that they will, too, remember us.

I have a wish. A wish for everyone to let go of all their unhappiness and come to love each other. A wish for no one to be ostracized, criticized, cast aside. A wish of hope for all the hurt souls out there. A wish of unity. A wish of forgiveness. A wish of kindness. A wish, of love.

He will be my guide

Oh yay, it works again.
This has been a rough three days.

Monday:
Piano exam was... I don't know how should I put it but, I think I didn't do well. I could have done like a million zillion times better. I didn't know why I was so nervous and scared as well that both my hands went frozen and I couldn't play properly at all.

Tuesday:
Probably my one and only chance in my life to perform at esplanade. I thought we didn't sound very good. Weird high notes that split all over the place and weird sound that came out. But it was a good experience working with another choir and perform in consonant-eating esplanade haha. I enjoyed myself though, and i totally enjoyed watching the choirs after intermission (: YAY.

Wednesday:
BMTC was fun okay. I like the IMT, i.e., the simulated rifle thingy! Very fun leh I like shooting the funny looking yellow colour person/statue. I'm not that bad okay. And I thought the food was really good and definitely much much much better than what my dad had to go through. Nice recreation room. The bed also quite soft! (yah, i was itchy handed, and poked the bed a bit) The army guys were really funny; they all came looking out of their windows HAHA. And my group's guide, KIAN. GOSH HE'S DAMN FUNNY :D Nice guide! yupp.

So it's been a tiring three days. late nights and stuff. Oh well. I'll just have to survive past this week, and I pray for God's guidance.

BYEBYE FOR NOW.

111.

There's something wrong and I can't post a picture.
I'm so irritated by this whole coming month. So many things happening, so little time and I'm totally exhausted.
3/8 - rehearsal at istana, jap exam
7/8 - ndoc performance at istana
8/8 - singdollar musical (okay this one go watch with mummy)
24/8- piano exam, rehearsal at esplanade
25/8- "a choral odessy" performance at esplanade

This schedule just means no bowling training for me next month, plus more piano lessons, plus later sleeping time, because I have to study for jap exam plus revise scores PLUS do homework and study for tests. This is so frustrating. Haha, I'm already behind time in work for maths, i think. Gosh. BUT it's okay because I know that there are loads of people who will support me through this month, and always give me the encouragement i need.

What's more, God's there for me to lean on.

Too many things happening recently! But don't worry about me alright, all those who can see this! I'm fine! I believe that I can definitely pass through this coming month with a very pleasant mood (i hope). So sorry to keithy and val and the rest for my bad mood recently sigh! I feel so bad now. SORRY GUYS ):

I hope everyone else will be happy too! So if you see this and you're sad, don't be alright! Cheer up, because there's so many more happy things in life to be cheerful about (:

if you could see me now

just like a bleeding rose, his heart was shattered, broken, twisted beyond recognition

I hope everything with everyone is fine. So much tears, anger, despair, sorrow, disappointment, helplessness and loss of trust everywhere. Yet I can't do anything to help all of them. I pray for Him to give them the strength to step out from all the gloominess and into the light.

Let's hope everything's fine.
Don't worry I'm not emo over common test. Results don't have much effect on me, as said before.

Please be fine

why didn't you tell me earlier?

I'll dry up these tears and tell myself that I AM strong. I'll go through this whole thing with courage and strength from Him.

This day is really not a good one. I hope everything will be fine in no time, that everyone will be alright again. It feels as though there's something in me that's ripping apart and it's really painful. No, it's not results. I never do really get affected by results anyway.

No matter what, I know that He will guide me through it.

I place my life in Your hands

sadly, picture does not have kennard, bi qi and kia hin.

I hate studying for exams.
I'm gonna be in a super ultra horrible murderous mood if my body breaks down once again because of the stress. And yes, that means, I'll be snapping at almost everyone who irritates me and of course, staying in a hospital and trying my best not to get the H1N1. Yay.

Okay, enough ranting oops.

I LOVED THE BOWLING BBQ AND GAMES :D
We had so much fun!
Thanks: -
KEITHY my fellow gamemaster and of course for buying tons and tons of things together! and of course, carrying the many many things!
VALLY for really trying her best to help out and liasing with the bbq people and carrying things!
KENNARD MUMMY who is very automatic and came to help us carry the stuff - MACHO MAN :D
KIAHIN my dear girl, who despite everything, and the last minute-ness, booked the BBQ pit for us and put up with my nagginess!
KOW for, trying to plan, and being so SPORTING on that day! haha best player ever! :D
XIAOTIAN because he really came down to help but we ended up being really behind schedule and up till now i still feel so apologetic towards him! ahhh i apologise again, xt!
AND ALL THE REST because you came and played and enjoyed yourselves!! :)

Yay, fun fun fun. It was a great day! Too bad we didn't take any pictures. But it's so sad the seniors are graduating and leaving the 8 of us (yikes.) behind. Well, all the best seniors, for everything in the future!

HOLIDAYS ARE ENDING AND COMMON TESTS ARE COMING :(
that means, i am dying.
study progress:
80% math
50% geog
50% econs
30% chem

YAY I'LL DIE FOR CHEM.

I'm here again, finally!

Yeah, here to tell everyone that I'm gonna fail all my upcoming tests and it isn't very consoling that GP common test is on the last Thursday of the term, which happens to be quite soon. As mentioned before, everyone is so, uptight, stressed and frustrated. What with all the homework that we can never seem to finish, all the tests that we can never seem to finish studying for and all the stress that just keeps flooding in. Holidays aren't holidays anymore. Holidays are just days that you don't spend studying in school but mugging your life away at home. What's the point of calling it a holiday if every teacher deems that we are so free and dumps us more homework? It piles and piles and piles until by the end of holidays we're still not done with them. For goodness sake, we have families and friends and other commitments. We can devote the WHOLE holidays to just homework alone. Like the saying goes 'all work and no play makes jack a dull boy'.

Don't come telling me that just because this two years are for preparing for A levels means we cannot slack off. Yeah, we cannot slack off and not do homework, but that doesn't mean we don't enjoy ourselves at all. Why waste so much time of your life so stressful and upset? Life is so short, we should all enjoy it. Ah, I was stressed out because I was lagging behind in tutorials, in homework and probably in marks. But then I got it sorted out! Stressing myself out will not make me have better results, in fact, it'll only have the adverse effect. It's so painful seeing all my friends so stressed out and tired each day. It never gets better, it just gets worse. It's even more painful seeing my family feel the pain as I sleep late nights to rush out homework and be like a zombie the next day. Well, is this the life of a student in Singapore?

OKAY. I know I'm lamenting a lot, and I sound pissed or something. Actually, I don't. Those words just came to me as I continued typing, it was as if my fingers were typing away on the keyboard on their own.

SYF was okay. We got what we deserved and I dare say we put in all our best so NO REGRETS (: Here I want to thank all that has been supporting me throughout. I know I've been in a very touchy mood; I'm sorry! ): And thank you girls, Qi, Trish, Wansi for always being so concerned and for always supporting me! Hehe. Oh gosh there's too many to thank. But thank you every single one of you 24 people who were up on stage with me for making that moment happen. It's been so great working with you guys (:

Ahh, this is getting lengthy!
So byebye for now, and I'm sorry I'm lazy to upload pictures xD

I'm glad things have taken a change for the better. You still haven't changed much, but at least, you're more careful now.

I can feel the tension around school. Like everyone's tensed up over syf, sports competitions and studies. It does dampen moods a lot. And recently so much has happened. I'm still a happy girl though, I'm just worried about so many others around me. Yes, I'm stressed by syf, datelines to meet, all the assignments thrown at us and stuff, but I guess sometimes we shouldn't push ourselves too hard. It'll just produce the reverse effect.

I really hate to see things this way, and to be in the midst of it is even worse. I feel so useless because I can't seem to be able to do anything about it when I was already approached for help. I can't seem to be able to do a single thing right. I don't mind people throwing their tantrums or tempers on me or just venting their anger on me, but sometimes it shouldn't be overboard. I wish everyone could be like the hamsters up there, helping one another, always caring for each other and not be unappreciative towards others' concern towards you.

On a happier note, I FINALLY AM ABLE TO RELEASE MY BALL PROPERLY AND IT CAN NOW HOOK! YAYYYYYY =D I finally am done with PI (although there's the bad bad econs executive summary and GPP to chiong now!).

SYF IS IN 6 days! AHHHHHHH

So fast, and it's the end of April. This year is moving so quickly. As fast as the swine flu is spreading. It's really scary. It's so much more powerful than SARS ): how many more must die before this epidemic can come to an end? ): How many more must suffer the loss of family and friends? How many more must live in constant fear and isolation? How many?

how many more times does it take for you to see that you aren't the only one in this world? my concern is genuine and I'm not the only one. please, start trusting. please start believing that people do care. just as you want me happy, i want you that way too.

post 105!

today was UBER fun!
haha if you look at the pictures, you'll see val hiding, and looking angry cause i refused to delete her picture lalala. she's super cute!
The guys were super super super gay but it was damn funny lah. Made me laugh like crap. haha, i realised that a punch to the collarbone is really painful =O but aiya, i'm okay so mummy don't feel bad! (:




















the mess made by keith on the floor! hahaha.















TODAY WAS SOOOOOO FUN.

I HATE THIS

sucks. life sucks. everything sucks.
and no i'm not emo over bowling.
i'm just feeling sucky.
feeling useless.
can't write.
can't carry things.
can't type properly.
can't walk properly.
can't run.
can't hop.
can't jump.
can't bowl.

okay yah that's how it is. bye.

YAY pictures from edwin's birthday! (:





Thank you both of you dear friends, for caring so much! I promise to do what I promised. Don't worry about me! (: Haha, BOWLING IS SO FUN. And CHOIR IS SO FUN. Omg I love bowling and choir. They're like breaks from endless tiring schoolwork that is frying my brain. I'm having not enough sleep and I feel really sleepy in class ): Sigh.

It's time to sleep~
my eyes are closing already.
okay, shut down, goodnight.

Yay we celebrated Edwin's birthday yesterday! Nice chocolate mousse cake and the present we gave him! (: YAY.

I FEEL HAPPY TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY!!
I hope you liked what we've done for you edwin lee!

Can't wait for the next birthday~ WHEEE. I WANT TO GO KOPE PICTURES FROM VAL NOW.

today was...
FUN

thanks loads to keith, valentia, kennard, kenneth kow and kenneth tan! yay! i feel so happy. the seafood was good (: and i laughed till i cried. because val and chubby were super super super funny with the ice pack. kennard's face was epic! omg what he did was even funnier xD hahahaha. and thanks for the face thing, keith and kenneth tan! it's super cute.

okay i shall go kope photos from val xD

for us,
for you

post 100.

i love my choir mates! hahaha. I-never again! With Kathleen, Jing Qi, Trish, Wansi, Chinyi, Pui Mun. Very fun! Tricia died, the Jing Qi, then Pui Mun! hahaha.

Thank you Tricia for sheltering me today! Yay, dryest! And thanks Trish and Qi for taking turns to help me take my bowling ball/shoes. Yay i love you two!

Mr Valesco's really cute and funny haahaha. It was a fun sessions with him, though really short. It's been so long since I've sung with the choir and it feels so... different! Like, really. (: yay.

Ahh, that's all I'm tired and sleepy!

i hate people taking my things without my permission.

i mean it.

Continuation of my bday thank you post. hahaha.

Thanks to DADDY AND MUMMY for two very nice, yummy dinners.

Kor and Sis-in-law:
1. Necklace
2. GV complimentary passes
3. iPhone (thank you korkor)
4. Elmo handphone strap
5. Stitch display

Valentia and Yixiu:
1. Super cute dress/shirt? Haha.
Rachel Tang:
1. Lilo and Stitch name stickers

Birthday this year was okay (:

I can't really remember what presents are from who, so if i don't list you then, sorry! Oh, the worst thing is, my birthday falls in the weeks when there's like a lot of tests so everyone, including me, were busy mugging our heads off ):

Thanks:
Trish, Qi, Wansi:
1.Lunch and funny 'I NEVERs' at KLP Subway!
2.Donuts + Yan Yan (my birthday "cake")
I had a great time with yall! :D
Kennard and Kow:
1.My bowling shoessssssssss!!!!
Zhen Wei:
1.A purple bunny soft toy o_o
2.An egg casing thing... with a gold DHS collar pin!!! AHHHHH PAPA :D
Shih Ting, Ovid, Chua Si Min:
1.Earrings
2.Ice cream/cake hair tie
3.Shih Ting's leaf-with-chinese-writing-and-is-laminated card with notes!
Weijie:
1.Smiley coin purse that is bright yellow
Bing Geng:
1.Necklace
2.Glass deco that was shattered by some idiot. RAR
EVERYONE who wished me happy birthday (:

Okay well, Daddy Mummy Kor and Sis-in-law gave the most DUH.

hmm i should stop here cos i'm sick and i really don't have the energy to sit here and type some more. byebye.