A's are finally over :D

I'm going to have a new beginning! New specs, up-coming new hairstyle, new me!

Recently had a meal with a close buddy at some place that I can't recognise. Oh the food was good, but I really don't recognise the place at all. I was just sitting in the car and staring into blank space.

Today! Yay for meeting up with (long-time-no-see) VALLY! I believe we have so much more catching up to do. Nothing beats meeting up face to face and talking about all the things in the world. Sunday's going to be fantastic with the craziest bunch of buddies! Missed them all so much. I wonder how each and every one of them has changed from when I last met them.

December is going to be such an exciting month with driving lessons, prom, YF Camp and Christmas!! Planning YF Camp was really quite an experience. Working with the other committee members was pretty interesting with all the different working styles. Really hope that YF Camp would provide the campers a good time for spiritual refreshment as they are drawn closer to God in that 5-days, especially with the concurrent anticipation, preparation and celebration of Christmas. It's my prayer, that God watches over each and every camper that He would work greatly in our hearts.

Sunday's coming, concrete work for Little Boss has to be done hurriedly! (:

Let's reach out to the others now (:

In that distant fog.

Dear best friend,

These past few months without a listening ear, without someone to share my joy with, it's certainly been much quieter, much lonelier. So many things happened recently. Despite efforts to put this friendship at the back of my head, you're still the first person I'd want to share stuff with. Yet, I know you're not approachable now, and I'm but an irritant to you.

I'm sorry for the trouble caused to you, for the annoyance I've brought to you. If only you didn't bring back that smile, I'd have been able to cope better.

I really miss you, buddy.

See that scar right across her heart? Oh wait, you can't see it; it's buried.

Fatigue.

How?

For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake
-Philippians 1:29

Just getting more and more disheartened each day. So what if I can complete all my tutorials, attend all the lectures, copy all the necessary notes? I just, flop like nothing during the exams. I have no idea why, and no, I don't feel a tinge of panic in the examination hall. I just, blank out. Nothing comes to my mind when I read the questions, no light bulb suddenly lighting up by the side of my head, nothing, zilch.

Believing in God really isn't so simple in this cold, hard, temptation-filled world. As I study to gain top results (or rather, acceptable results), the stress piles higher and higher. I turn to God for strength. I turn to Him for guidance. In this dog-eat-dog world, if you're not up there, you're cast way down. The hard fact of the world. I feel really really tired. Conking out almost anywhere, as long as I'm seated (except in school), a blank mind the moment I step out of school, a sigh of relief when I finally get to go to bed, a heavy head the next morning, and painful, tired shoulders. But I know what I'm going through is really nothing compared to my Saviour. One who really carried all the shame, humiliation, criticism, hatred, and ultimately, SIN, upon his mighty and pure shoulders. Survive, I must. Survive, I will.

Actually I really do feel so immensely pressured by the competition around me. I see everyone else doing so well, or at least, improving. But me? I just dropped further and further. What am I doing?

Be strong, be strong,
Be strong in the Lord
And be of good courage
for He is your guide.

Oh Lord, my Father, I really need You.

Just because the eyes you see now are sparkling like nothing could be wrong and she has the biggest smile ever, doesn’t mean a few minutes earlier those eyes were filled with sadness and tears. And that amazing beautiful smile you see now didn’t exist. She has so much pain and hurt in her life.. you just don’t see it, because she doesn’t want to hurt the people around her

It does not matter what you have in your life. It matters WHO.
Without God, I am but nothing. I'd just be a sinner who isn't saved. A sinner who doesn't know the wondrous grace of our mighty God. Without God, I wouldn't be able to do the things I did. Only with His strength are we able to prosper in every thing that we do. Do you have God in your life?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What an exciting night.

First Keith called (yes, amazing! I know! Like, finally after don't-know-how-many-months), then 3 mins later, Xiaotian called, and about 10 mins later, Kennard called. Dear brothers/mummy, I do miss hanging out with you all with the rest of the gang! Soon k, celebrate all the birthdays at one shot :D

Finally understand Chem Equilibria and Ionic Equlibrium. Thank you, Lord, for giving me the wisdom and for guiding me through all along. Without Your grace and guidance, I wouldn't be able to come this far. He has indeed been blessing me a lot, and for giving me so many chances again and again. God is great, isn't He?

Slept over at Zhi Xin's house on Saturday night. Thank God for bringing us back to her house safely, though it was really early in the morning (like, 3.30am or something). I really thank God for bringing us together, that we are able to support each other spiritually as sisters-in-Christ and constantly help one another through any problems, as well as sharing all our joy and laughter together (:

Even though there were things that made my blood boil, made me cry or just made me plain unhappy, through prayer, I found comfort, joy and release in God. "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." -Psalm 139:23,24. God knows me better than anyone else. He knows what I'd say before I say it, He knows what I'll be in the future, He even knows how many strands of hair I have on my head. As such, I am able to come before Him, laying down every thing at His feet, and just find joy and peace in Him through Christ Jesus. God is indeed amazing.

From today on, I'm going to devote myself to studying. I guess God's call for me now is just to do my best with my studies so that I may glorify His precious name.

Felt really disheartened today by a number of things, and was on the verge of tears when I remembered God. I prayed silently in my heart, I prayed for Him to help me, I prayed for strength, and He gave them to me. He didn't stop there. He encouraged me through the book I was reading.

"You cannot be alive very long without being wounded. The sun rises, the stars follow their courses, the waves roll in crashing against the rocks, and we are wounded. Broken hearts cannot long be avoided in this beautiful yet dangerous world we live in. This is not Eden. Not even close. We are not living in the world our souls were made for. Something's rotten in the state of Denmark and in our own backyards as we journey through the unknown terrain of the moments and months that make up our lives.
Take a deep look into the eyes of anyone and behind the smile or the fear, you will find pain. And most people are in more pain than even they realize. Sorrow is not a stranger to any of us, though only a few have learned that it is not our enemy either. Because we are the ones loved by the God, the King of kings, Jesus himself, who came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free,... (pg 64-65)
...Christ asks our permission to come in and heal, but he is kind, and the door is shut from the inside, and healing never comes against our will. In order to experience his healing, we must also give him permission to come in to the places we have so long shut to anyone. Will you let me heal you? He knocks through our loneliness. He knocks through our sorrows. He knocks through events that feel too close to what happened to us when we were young - a betrayal, a rejection, a word spoken, a relationship lost. He knocks through many things, waiting for us to give him permission to enter in. (pg 100)"
-Captivating, John & Stasi Eldredge

No matter what we go through, God will always be there for us. We just have to invite Him into our hearts and not shut Him out. Consecrate ourselves to Him, speak to God, cry out to Him, and He will come and ease your pain and heal your wounds. I felt really comforted by this today, alongside the comfort and encouragement of many brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank you, for being there for me! And ultimately, thank You, Lord, for never leaving nor forsaking me, but for loving me and upholding me despite my sins. Amen.

Blessed birthday (:

Goodbye, best friend.

I think it's time to say goodbye to you, for good.
I'll miss you.

Reflections on a clearer water.

Stumbled upon Zhi Xin's blog just before typing this out, and thought, 'yeah maybe I should do a little more reflection on Bible Conference'.

Bus 3 (with the happy smiley face that makes it recognisable), with Zhi Xin ♥, Aaron Chai, Allister, Aaron Chia, Timothy Loh and Timothy Foong, AND the Make a Timothy Today (MTT) people. Bus rides were enjoyable, both to and fro (:

Theme for this year was Having Done All To Stand (for God). I've missed morning devotions and 2 messages, I think, cos I fell sick. Sometimes looking back I wonder 'How come God made me fall sick during that week?', because wasn't I supposed to be learning His Word then? But then I also thought, maybe He wanted me to take a break from studying and to really just focus on Him and Him alone. No idea, but I'm facing exams more calmly this year than I previously had.

The sharings by MTT were definitely encouraging, and with all their own life experiences, it really helped us to see how we could put God's word into our lives and lead a life that is honouring to Him. Their words spoke to my heart and I could really feel God working His way in my life, and since coming back to Singapore, seeing God's presence in my life more evidently. It taught me to not harp on my present troubles, but instead just cast them all to God for He will carry these burdens for us. He will help us through all these trials, and He will make us stronger. As the theme suggests, the Conference really was about standing up for Jesus. After the conference, it really struck me that I haven't been really doing much for God, and I could do so much more, other than just going for service, YF meetings and serving in Awana. There are just so many more avenues that I can serve God.

Through the Conference, many friendships were formed, at the same time, having some cracks in some. But then, as I tried sealing up those cracks, I realised how much God mattered, how evident God was in our lives. As He put me through all these misunderstandings and problems, He built me up to be a stronger, more matured girl. Most importantly, it struck me even harder, how much I needed God, how weak I was without Him. Thank you, Lord, for always holding me up. Thanks to the dear sisters-in-Christ that God sent as well, I managed to recover relatively quickly. Thank you Shiqi, Nerissa, Zhi Xin, Samantha and anyone else that cared (: Thank God for you girls.

Went up to share my 4th testimony of the year during Testimony Night. My voice wasn't great, but by God's grace I managed to say out whatever I wanted to. Thanks Elijah, for asking. Shared Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 that says that to everything that happens, there is a time, a place and a reason. God never moves without purpose or plan and in every sorrow, happiness, trial, festive, harvest, wilt there is a time and place for it. The song I sung in DHS Choir for 6 years, only echoed to me now, only worked and spoke to my heart now. God was so near, and yet I didn't notice it. God was speaking to me all along, and yet I ignored Him. But alas, His call was not futile, for I responded as He softened my heart. So in every moment of our lives, remember God's will, always seek comfort or take joy in God (1 Thessalonians 5:16 "Rejoice evermore").

Captain's Ball - combined with Chinese YF. It was fun, undoubtedly, but I only got to play on the last day, while still sniffing away. By God's grace I managed to last throughout the whole game and survive throughout the camp though I didn't really sleep much. Made new friends, or brothers-in-Christ, like Ting Jun, who is also known as my Brother Zu or Didi Zu (:D), Wei Ming and Hantong, and after like 6 months, seeing Kenneth again. Understood people a lot better, though I don't know if that's a good thing or not, by in any case, if that's what God wanted to happen, so be it. Also, worked with Shiqi and Nerissa on YF Dorm Fellowship games. It was great working with these girls. Thank God for them! (:

Well, my objectives were achieved after this camp. Surely I've grown closer to God, understanding His Words more, and loving Him more each day. Yet I know I still have much to improve in being a good testimony for Him. Stumbling blocks will fall before me, but I know that with God, I'll be able to cross them unscathed.

Zhi Xin: Thanks for being such a wonderful sister all these while. You've been a blessing that God sent to me, always encouraging me and egging me on. Do remember that God will always be with you through whatever problems you have, just keep trusting in Him and keep praying and He will be with you, He will help you!

Gotta put on the whole armour of God! (Ephesians 6:10-18)

Stand up, stand up for Jesus,
Ye soldiers of the cross.
Lift high His royal banner,
it must not suffer loss.
From victory unto victory
His army shall He lead.
Till every foe is vanquished,
and Christ is Lord indeed.

Thank you, Father, for all that You've done.

----------------------------------------------------------

Recently, loads of things have been happening. Loads of worries, troubles, problems, headaches, heartaches, tears. But I know that God is there. He will guide us all through.

I've had many lost, cracked and broken friendships, which explains why I'm usually such a reclused person. I talk, but not usually about myself. I know that God hears and He listens to my heart and my thoughts. He knows my pain; He's gone through a million times worse than mine, He knows my troubles; He's gone through so much more than I have, He feels what I feel; He is my Father. Here I stand (or sit), feeling the same pain I had gone through just a few months before, the same dilemma, the same heartache, but a different mindset. They told me, they advised me, and I know what I should do. Yet I still want to speak to God, hoping that God will give me a better solution than this. And for my dear friends out there, if you face any anger, disappointment, sadness, dilemma, remember that God is there for you. Speak to Him, NEVER forget Him, always keep Him in your hearts.

And remember that dear brothers and sisters, Lydia loves you and she's always here for you. So no matter what happens, I'll always be here, because God gave me this ability to communicate, to comfort, so I will use it well, to His glory. Amen.

Because of this, people have hurt thoroughly.

Bible Conference was a good time of spiritual retreat and refreshment. Falling sick was even better because God really forced me to focus on Him and Him only, and not be distracted with studying for CTs. But then again, I've lagged behind a lot on studying and I'm worried about CTs. I believe that God will guide though. As long as I've put in my best for God.

Loads of things happened during Bible Conference and thanks to God, I observed things I never once did notice. A new light, a new perspective. It got me thinking a lot, and it came at a price. Quite heavy a price, but maybe it's worth it if everything can work out in the end.

Made new friends! Thank God for the new brothers and sisters in Christ! Thank God also for helping me to testify for You even though my voice wasn't great. Thank God also, for the very inspiring messages by the MTT team that really worked in my heart. Thank God, ultimately, for the opportunity and Your providence in going to the Conference.

God really works wonders. And God, even though He put us through such tough times, I do see myself growing with each trial I pull through. The conference was definitely one that taught me a lot and struck me hard, despite being sick and missing a few messages.

Thank you, Lord, for everything (:

Just look what you've done.
One glance at you and my heart tears into a million pieces.

Give me some response, will you.

You knew it, but you didn't do anything about it. So, am I to take the blame for it now?
---

I'm always the one being used isn't it? Since I don't say anything about it.

---
Graduating from choir, never occurred to me that I'd feel this way. 6 years in the journey together, fighting and working our way all the way till now. We've had our quarrels, we've had our tears, we've had our laughter. We made music together. I think I have somewhat a love-hate relationship with choir. Okay, maybe not so the hate part, but sometimes I do feel tired. Yet on Friday, during games, that warmth rushed through me, the same familiar warmth I once had. And I loved choir all over again. The touching medley by the juniors activated my already-very-active tear glands.
Handing down never felt so different. From the tear-jerkers in Secondary School, to one of such mixed feelings in Senior High. It's difficult to express myself with just mere words, to translate my feelings into text. I'll miss feeling that excitement or dread going for choir, staying back late and walking down dark corridors together, singing as we walked along side each other and all that beautiful memories we had together as one DHSChoir family.
Thank you, choir.


Year 6s - Thank you for this wonderful journey together for these past 4 to 6 years. I'll definitely miss all the times we had together, from emoing together, to laughing together, chasing each other (literally) *stares at tricia and minjie*, being BONDED together, being CRAZY together (+20 points! HAHA). Certainly, working together with you guys have really been an unforgettable experience. Thank you, for always giving me all that support and encouragement even though I did a bad job at times. It was you guys that made me have the confidence to do what I was afraid of. Love you all (:

I'm probably slowly starting to let you go.

I'm confused.

Love and hate, separated only by that thin line.

She wiped her tears away, and told herself to be strong. She turned to look at him, and she crumbled all over again. She felt those stabs of pain in her heart. She ran, and ran, and ran. Hidden from the light, she poured her heart out to the shadows.

When I saw this image, I was immediately reminded of a friend. Or should I say, acquaintance? He was a great friend. Even though our friendship didn't last for more than 2 months, I think it left me great memories. Happy 18th, friend. He was special in his very own way. He wasn't like many others I knew. His idea of happiness was simple, and he was so innocent. He was a dreamer. I remember what he used to share with me and how he was always so happy about his dream-land. He taught me to be happy over the simplest of things. He taught me the power of innocence. He was a sincere, caring friend. He lifted me up right at the point when I was crashing. Thank you. But our friendship wasn't meant to last.

Dear friend, thank you for your friendship. An underground friendship.
I know you're happy now, and I'm glad for you. Even though we're practically like strangers now, I thank you for leaving with me the memories. I sure hope you had a joyous eighteenth. Dream-time is nearly over. Here's wishing you much happiness.

Be happy, alright?

P.S. This post is one day late.

Slowly, bit by bit, that fire is extinguishing.

I'm the sole protector,
of a heart that's been abused.

Wait, sorry, you already did.

Thank you.

Oh, just go away already.

sometimes, you have to take action

Been faced with loads of bombardments about how God is not true, how unreliable the Bible is, how unsupported the faith is and how Christians are delusionists. It's a test for me, to see how strong my faith is. Maybe others wouldn't understand, but to keep this faith strong, it is to have ultimate trust in the LORD.

Trusting. A simple word like that, yet the weight it carries can pull us down. When we say we trust someone, what does it really mean? To trust Christ, it means to give your whole life to Him and to believe in His Word and live out His Commandments. Sure, it sounds simple, but when faced with all the worldly threats, we sometimes find it a struggle to keep the Commandments. In 1 John 2:15-17, it is written "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever." (KJV) We are told not to covet the earthly things but to thirst for godly things. Yet recently, I've been thinking, just how many of us are able to do that? To live a life half as clean as Jesus?

Certainly, all of us have sinned throughout our entire span of life. The world today has evolved into one that tempts us to conform to the world, to do things that are displeasing before God's eyes. And for the children of God, it is a struggle indeed, to separate ourselves from this sinful world. Yet if we keep God's Word in our hearts, wouldn't it make things easier?

Just let God rule in our hearts, in our lives. Let God take charge. Isn't it comforting to know that someone so holy and perfect cares for you, loves you and died for you, and to bear all your burdens for you? When we take charge of our own life, it's just driving deeper into sin. Proverbs 3:7 "Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil." So let God lead us. Let His will be done. Thirst after His Word daily. Abandon the things of the world and search for godly things.

The curtains close

That's it.
That's the end of our choir life with DHS Choir.

Thank you, all you wonderful choristers, for all the memories.
Today's concert was really good, I'm really so proud of being a DHS Chorister! Thank you for leaving us such a memorable concert.

I won't forget all those crazy practices with Shou Yi towering over me, Zi Xuan's random burpings, Jing Qi's sudden burst of laughter, Wilson's crazy non-stop laughter, the Tenors trying to be MAN, and the sops with their giggles. It has been a great journey thus far.

Thank you, DHS Choir.

Year 6s! It's over. Our journey with DHS Choir has ended. But it marks a brand new beginning for us! I hope you guys enjoyed every bit of today's concert as much as I did singing alongside the other Choristers! :D

And the curtains close, 
the two ends finally meeting.
Our cue,
off the stage.  

The music stops.

Tomorrow.
After 6 years of singing together, we're going to say goodbye.

How we've changed, from the scrawny Sec 1s 5 years back. How we've shrunk as well, to just the 7 of us today. Memories poured in, and emotions flooded me. It wasn't easy to come here as a choir, or rather, for our batch. As Jing Qi said, we're probably the most BONDED today.

Since I stepped into choir, we were never singing for nothing. We were always preparing for a concert, a performance, a competition - something. We always had a goal for our singing. But we left out a goal for ourselves as a choir. We laughed together, we wept together, we sang for each other. Each handover, each competition, each performance, we went through it all TOGETHER. I remember when we handed down. The tears I wept. The hugs from each chorister. The words of encouragement. It was as though I relived that moment. We came together as a family, even though we had our differences. We worked together as a family, even with our different tonalities and colour. We walked through it all as one family. I'm sure I'm going to miss singing with the choir even though I had my complaints.

Hi Year 6s of 2010, if you guys ever see this. It's been wonderful singing along with all of you. Remember One Song? Even though we aren't especially close to each other, we all definitely have a certain bond among all of us. We've all shared our troubles, our joy, our complaints. We helped each other, we encouraged each other, we pushed each other. Most of all, we cared for each other, we loved each other. Thank you all, for the great memories these 6 years. Let's all go out for Yr6 lunch/dinner one day before A levels okay!

Tomorrow.
Let's make it the best yet. Let's leave with no regrets.

Please read Jinky's latest post - Wednesday, April 14, 2010. You can click on the link below.
(Choir, this is it.)

It really sums up everything I feel and all. And it's beautifully written (:

6 years in choir. 6 years of singing together as one big choir family.

I can't connect with you the same way anymore, can I? ):

Yes, I've never been.

I think I'm tired.
Tired of waiting.
This goodbye is just too tough.

I've been patient, and I think I've stretched my limit. Its like stretching a rubber band, until it's at the point where it's about to snap and break.

I think I did a bad job today. I'm sorry, choir.

I'll never be that good.

One by one, I'm being given up upon.
Like a doll,
thrown away
when the entertainment value is no longer valid.

Like a rag,
used till torn
then deposited into the box that says "Rubbish".

Yet I know, in His eyes am I precious. How He loves me. My shepherd, my guide. My God, my Lord. Thank you for loving me and giving yourself for us. Because He loves me, so I am able to sustain till this far.

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? -Psalms 27:1

Why do people make promises and never keep them?
Naive, am I.

I've lost to you, utterly.

The many events that occurred over this weekend.

Good Friday
Thank you Christ, for bearing all our sins and sacrificing yourself for us and dying on the cross, having to face that pain of the Father turning away from you. The pain you went through both physical and emotional, is beyond our imagination, and we can only thank Thee for Thy love for us all.

YF 37th Anniversary
An unforgettable day.
Thank God for that courage to stand up there to share my testimony.
Thank you Father, for having since found me and for having done so much in my life, and for helping me to be a much better, much stronger Christian each day.
Thank God, for all the wonderful brothers and sisters-in-Christ, for making them a channel of support and encouragement, especially with Thy Word, when I feel as if I'm on my breaking point.

Easter Sunday
The day that Jesus rose from the dead (:
Our Saviour, He's alive!
Sunrise service was a good experience. Christ is our Living Hope!
Without God, it is a hopeless end; With God, it's an endless hope! - Rev (Dr) Jack Sin

But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me. - 1 Cor 15:10

Take care, dear one.

Best friend

Best friend.

They say that best friends are the ones who'd always be by your side no matter what.
They say that best friends are the ones who understand you even when no words are exchanged.
They say that best friends are the ones most truthful to you even though it may hurt.
They say that best friends know you inside out.

My best friend? Special.
My best friend may not satisfy all that above, but my best friend, ultimately, is a source of comfort and reliance.

As I'm stationed here, my best friend's on that bus ahead, going further away.
But best friends argue, and best friends drift, yet I know they'd always come back together. At least, I hope.

Have been thinking. Quite a bit actually.
Best friend, this isn't right. This uneasiness.

Nevertheless, thank you best friend, for all those wondrous memories, for bringing the meaning of 'best friend' to a whole new level.

Thank God, for you.

EDIT:

Loving and giving selflessly.
Doing all for the benefit of others.

Just look at what Jesus did for us.
God, my perfect role model, the one who taught me to love, even those who hate or persecute me. His commandments will I hold close to my heart.

Thank you, dear Lord, for loving me.

I miss you.

Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow.

What a day :D

Good job, Min Jie. You're a really great partner!

How cool. Seeing Aaron Chia on the train, in the same carriage, just one door away. What are the odds of meeting someone again in the train after parting ways 5 hours before? Yay :D

Thank God for your safe return. And I'm glad for the rain :)
I don't know what to think. I just hope everything goes fine for you. Just a few weeks more! I want to see you soon :)

Valentia! MOVIE :D

God is my rock, my fortress, my strength and my salvation! I can survive through all this through Christ who strengthens me! :D

Dear God, I pray that everything works out smoothly for our activity later in the day. Amen.

What a horrible week.
Less than 5 hours sleep for the past 2 weeks with work just piling higher and higher. Why can't A levels just hurry come and hurry go?

I'm losing balance. I see the weighing scale of my life tipping, its contents spilling out.
Oh, how I killed myself.

06032010

Thank you all for the belated birthday wishes :D

Thank you YFers! For the surprise birthday celebration for Weng Ngai and myself yesterday! BIG LOVES TO YOU ALL (:

WENG NGAI ♥ 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOO WENG NGAI!!

Thank you for being such a fantastic and super nice YOU :D I'm really glad to know you and I'm super happy you aren't jumping away from me anymore haha. It shall be my goal to celebrate my birthday with you ONE YEAR! :D:D

Thank you dear Phyllis ♥ 

Thank you for being such a great sister-in-Christ and for all your encouraging words! :D

Black polo tees own (: 

And thank you for the super nice and comfy Disney shirt!!!

Mel ♥

Thanks for being such a sweet girl, and for encouraging me all along!

Thank you Aaron (Chai&Chia), Melissa and Wei Yang for the BOOSTER pencil case! :D

Aaron the super nice brother! ♥ 

Thank you for remembering my birthday! HAHA. Thanks for your words of comfort and support :D You've been a wonderful brother!
P.S. Yay for making me appear not as short beside you :D:D

Wei Yang ♥ 

YOU ARE SO MEAN HAHA.

♥ Melissa Aaron Aaron Melissa ♥ 

The name twins of Followers! I love you guys much! :D

I miss dish-washing with you guys even though it was a very soapy, oily and watery experience. We must must must find time to catch up okay!

Aaron Chai ♥ 

Thank you for being such a great brother-in-Christ and for your concern all this while!

ALLISTERRR ♥ 

Thank you for holding my cake! HAHA. Yeah I totally heard about how you were supposed to get the cake and you had no money. IT'S OKAY :D Thank you for your encouragement and for your NICENESS :D

Naomi!!♥ 

Love you, girl! Thank you for getting the cake! Haha.

P.S. Good job scolding Allister xD

 Timmy ♥ 

I love your cute shirts! EMO ROBOT! Must give it a cookie now and then okay, so it'll feel happier! Thank you anyway for being such an entertainment and for wishing me ON TIME :D:D

  YFers ♥ 

Not everyone's here, but thank you, all you lovely people! 

 SHIQI ♥ 

Dear girl I'm so gonna miss you! Must spread our high-ness around to others okay! Thanks for being such an awesome crazy buddy! Here's hoping you'll start swimming your backstroke IN YOUR LANE :D

Chi Sin ♥ 

THANK YOU FOR BEING SO ELMO-ISH :D:D Thank you for teaching me so many things over the short span of time I've known you! You've been a blessing to all of us :) SEE YOU AROUND YO. Oh yeah! Thank you for the birthday wish too! :D 

Jocelyn & Joy ♥ 

Thank you for the sunflower!

There are still a lot more! Just know that I appreciate what you guys did and I really really am very touched by what all of you did! Thank you all loadddddds!
Especially for making my eighteenth such a memorable one (:

Hello, EIGHTEENTH

04032010  
(thanks Ah Qi for pointing that out HAHA. Cool date.)

BLESSED BIRTHDAY WENG NGAI!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEI JIE!
NICE BIRTHDAY, LYDIA! :D

I am officially EIGHTEEN.

A BIG thank you for those who remembered (and amazingly, did not get the date wrong) and wished me!

But first, BLESSED BIRTHDAY WENG NGAI. Yes, I beat you to it. Get over it haha. It's cool wishing you happy birthday! Let's celebrate one of our birthdays together okay! It's be sooooo fun :D Wishing you the bestest in camp and stay STRONG (literally hahahaha). Thanks for being such a great group mate! It's always so entertaining watching you hahah. May your walk with God grow deeper and closer with each passing day! Have a blessed 20th! :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEI JIE! Haha, it was funny today after econs, how we wished each other HAPPY BIRTHDAY at the same time :D Keep smiling alright, older twin brother! All the bestest for A's this year and everything else!

And here's my time to thank each and every single soul who wished me today. As usual, I didn't have a very loud birthday, and lessons drained my brain mentally, PE drained my body physically, but it was still a great birthday thanks to all the wonderful people/friends I have in my life! Thank God for seeing me through this 18 years of my life and for helping me to grow so much stronger with each trial He placed in my life. Thank God for the lovely and wonderful family and friends that have stuck by me throughout everything, and for all my brothers and sisters in Christ! Thank you, Lord, for everything.

Thank you to:

Valentia, Tricia, Jing Qi, Kia Hin, Dominic Lim and those who celebrated my birthday and sang the birthday song for me yesterday!
Thank you Valentia for the cake :D
Thank you Dominic Lim for the dinner, and Tricia & Jing Qi for celebrating for me! :D

Thank you Melissa Bernard,Terence, Ovidia, Chua Si Min, Hao Yi for wishing me early! :D

And for today, thank you-

WEI JIE, Jing Qi, Ruixiang, Kia Hin, Valentia, Fidelia, Chubby, WENG NGAI, Samuel Chan, Kenneth Kow, Wesley, Chi Sin, Yigeng, Kennard, Elijah, Wan Hui, Aaron Chia, Abel, Gina Jie, Dorothy Jie, Tricia, Samantha Koh, Zhen Wei, Zhuofei, Ruixian, Bing Geng, Eugene Ng, Adeline, Sheryl, Si Tong, Joylynn, Beverly, Rachel, Shih Ting, Shu Ting, Shu En, Tung Hsi, Esther, Priscilla, Siew Eng, Jia Yan, Pei Rong, Amanda, See Wei, Zhen Zhen, Wei Quan, Samuel Chang, Chak, Xing Qi, Kian Siong (and a couple of 41 guys, didn't notice who though haha), Timothy Foong, Timothy Loh, Min Jie, Chik Him, Mabel, Daniel Lim, Jing Han, Hong Sheng, Wei Fung, Stan, Samantha Seah, Robin, Arthur, Zi Jia, Mr Ken Leong, Yi Ren, Phyllis, Melissa Chua, Ginny, Wanxian, Audrey Lim, Mahavira, Jean Ng, Lincoln, Jocelyn Thng, Rebecca Tan, Jie Zhi, Clara, Joanne Wang, Wai Lai, Gabriel See, Keene, Aloysius, Aaron Chai, Darius, Wilson Toh, Zhi Xin, Yi Xiu, Zhi Qian, Daniel, Nerissa, Felicia Tay, Edmund, Rachel Kwan, Jane, Dinghong, CHUN LONG, Nicole Pua, Joanne Lua, Carin, Yeling, Daryl, Alicia Pua, Gary Goh, Serene Ong, Dominic Soh etc.

I'm sorry if I left you out, I really can't remember everyone! D:

Thank you Valentia my dearest girl friend ever :D Love you loads alright!

Thank you Jing Qi, the dear girl who's the FIRST to wish me exactly at 0000hrs and who wished me so many times! Love you, girl! :D

Thank you Tricia for the yummy cuppycake! Loves! :D

Thank you Terence for the HUGE pig bank and the band concert ticket and lollipop! Thank you for always being such a wonderful friend! :D

Thank you Shih Ting for the present that is still a mystery to me as of now haha! :)

Thank you Bing Geng for the stitch! Haha it's a super great and apt gift! :)

Thank you Chubby, for calling me at 0003hrs even though you were not feeling well! Take care alright, get well soon!

Thank you Jocelyn for ever being so cute and calling to wish me while being afraid you got the day wrong! :)

BEST FRIEND! :D Since you want to be the last, you will be the last HAHA. Thank you for the wish! And for being the bestest, greatest, nicest ever! :D

I didn't snap any photos today haha. But I'll upload any once I've got them :D

Why am I turning 18 so soon?
Not that it's anything bad, but, I feel as though time really flew by.

Everything from Primary 1 is still so vivid in my head. How we all held hands and walked to class, how I started a conversation with my first friend in EPPS, how we were all allocated seats and had to walk in twos according to height and with our fingers to our lips, how Ms Chiang's 5-finger rule was so powerful, how Ms Brenda Yeow changed the school entirely (literally), Action Box, Ms Gaistri, Ms Yuen, Mrs Ng etc. etc.

Now I'm turning 18 in 2 days, and the mood to celebrate my birthday is no longer as before. How we, as kids used to want to have a birthday party, inviting all our friends over, collecting presents, playing games and getting all sweaty all over. But now, a birthday song, a cake, a group of friends is already more than what I would ask for. I don't feel that same enthusiasm in celebrating it. We've really changed.


New friends, new school, new lives. 18 feels so daunting to me.
Maybe it's the pressure I've been giving myself. Maybe it's the situation around me. Maybe it's the situation I'm in. But I know for sure, that God will guide me through all these. He'll bring me out stronger than before.

'But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.' -Job 23:10

Ahh 18, why are you here?

The aching feeling just won't go away.
I feel like crying all over again.

Sick again.
Flu, sore throat. Just waiting for fever to settle down and take its place in me.

Thank you, for always being there for me (:

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY KENNARD!! :D

Hi mummy! I don't know if you'll ever see this, but I want to let you know that you've been one of the greatest friends ever in my 5years with you in DHS. Thank you for always standing by me, and giving me so much (I really mean A LOT) of support, encouragement and help. You've been WONDERFUL, and I'm really so so so glad to have you in my life! 

I know sometimes I say things that are hurting, but don't be offended okay! You're still a fantastic friend :) And I do love you, kennard, for being one of the greatest friends ever! I think I share a lot of things with you haha. So thanks for everything, and I wish you the greatest of JOY and all the best for everything, especially your enlistment thingys. 

Hope you liked our celebration :D AND THE SUPER CUTE CAKE HAHA. 

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY JING QI!! :D

I love you loads!! It's really been a fun and crazy and emotional 5+ years spent with you, and I'm so thankful for the friend in you :D Girl, you're 18! Legal already! It's alright, I'll be joining you soon enough then we just have to wait for Tricia to join us and we can all go watch M18s together HAHAHA.

Do stay strong and happy, and always hope in the Lord! In all circumstances, pray to Him and talk to Him okay! When you're unhappy, look to the Lord, for He is our source of strength and joy. He will never leave you alone to handle things you cannot cope alone. He will guide you throughout. So never feel disheartened okay :D

Hope you had a great 18th birthday! :D 

I'm losing my patience with you.

Happy Lunar New Year everyone :D

Dear God,
I pray for guidance, for help, in this time of uncertainty, confusion and loss of direction. Teach me, Lord, how do I face this.
Amen.

God,
Thank you for everything You've done for me. Thank you for always being the strength and comfort. Thank you, Lord.
Amen.

wishing you were somehow here again

Did I manage to finally make you proud of me?
Will be missed.

And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity. (1 Cor 13:13)

 

 

Source: here

reminded me of Jing Qi :D

 

Source: here

Source: (here)

Lost at first, but now am found :D

Been busying through the days, packed-to-the-max schedule and the piling list of things to do. Really thank God for seeing me through this far!

 ²⁸Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.
 ²⁹He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
 ³⁰Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
 ³¹But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

From Isaiah 40:28-31 (KJV)

merely reposted this. saw it on qi's blog.

Reminds me of what I was saying to someone today. Just gonna leave it in the hands of God, and let Him choose the right one for me. Whether that particular one is in my life already, or not,  I'll find out eventually, only waiting for God's directions.

So worried.

I'm afraid of losing this.

Best friend!

Thank God for my best friend today, for being that source of strength :)

Sometimes we build walls around ourselves, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.